| | What does it mean to truly be angry? To hold a grudge and to be irritated with their actions or intent. What does it say about yourself when you are angry at somebody? There are many many underlying levels to this emotion, and all of them point back towards yourself, instead of the other person. Do you want to know why? Because ultimately you yourself are the one who decides to be angry, regardless of what a person does.
I personally like Uncle Scrooge as a good example, he's angry at everybody, even the little kids who sing christmas carols to him. We all know that his underlying animosity is geared towards a troubled childhood, right? It's easy to conclude that his anger is more about his own problems than what the kids were singing about. that same logic can be applied to other areas where anger arises as well.
Take for example the proverbial act of adultery. It's really really easy to point the blame at the one who committed the act, right? We all know that they are the one who deserves punishment for their betrayal and we were stupid for ever trusting them. Right? They're in the fault, right?
I disagree.
The anger that we hold towards an "unfaithful" partner is our own doing. Most people take this lack of loyalty as an attack towards their own personal character. Often leaving them feeling worthless and lonely. This feeling of worthlessness is what brews that anger. The fact that there is a tangible catalyst makes it easy for us to single them out as the source of our anger. But the reality is we are the ones who choose to be angry. We feel lonely because we are conditioned early on that when somebody does not feel positive emotions towards us, then we're worthless. And this feeling of insignificance is the harbinger of insecurity, which in turn causes anger and frustration because we don't understand this insecurity that we feel, so we then project this frustration towards the outside world.
It's also important to note that the adulterer is completely irrelevant. They are just a symbol of a catalyst who is nothing more but somebody who grinds your gears. It can be anybody, an abusive mother, annoying friend, road rage, bar brawler, etc...this topic applies to anybody who has ever felt anger.
Next time you feel angry, ask yourself why. And then when you find the reason for that, ask yourself why again. And then again, and then again, and then again, and then again. And I gaurantee that all of you will have the exact same answer. I won't spoonfeed this to you though, because having the epiphany on your own will be a million times more effective than reading this ever will be. I'll give you a hint though....
"Everything will be ok. I promise."
I encourage all of you to walk down this path of self discovery and truly discover the emotions that you concede your life to. Figure out the irrationality in your anger and squelch it with the power of understanding. For the longest time my friend James always said there were no such things as enemies, and as a bewildered child I couldn't comprehend that statement, but as I'm typing all this out right now, it's never made more sense in my life. |
| | Posted 6/2/2009 3:48 PM - 14 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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